“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
― Lao Tzu
Why is self-confidence so important? It is important because it gives you courage, self-esteem and assertiveness. When self-confidence is present, you are not afraid to take risks and to try new things.
Self-confidence is essential for a happy and successful life and is a quality of character that most people appreciate, when they see it in other people.
When you possess self-confidence, you do not allow what people think and say about you to affect you, and you don’t take things too personally. This means a more peaceful life.
Most people are not born with this quality of character. However, you can build it up. You can build self-confidence by changing your mindset and your attitude toward life, even if various personal experiences caused you to lose it.
How to Build Your Self-Confidence
1. Think about what you have already done in your life
Even if you experienced failure and unhappiness in your life, there certainly are a few achievements. These need not be great achievements, but quite simple things, like getting good grades at school or college, promotion at work, getting along well with your neighbors, getting your driving license, or learning to swim.
Thinking about those achievements makes you realize that you have experienced success in your life, and not all is failure. This would make you feel better about yourself and about your life, and improve your self-confidence.
2. Focus on what you did and achieved, not on what you did not do and did not achieve
Why fill your mind with scenarios of failure? If you keep thinking about failure, you expect and anticipate it and attract it to you, and this further spoils your sense of self-confidence. Replace the negative movie in your mind with a movie about success. See yourself in your mind where you really want to be, living the life you really want.
If you can keep watching a movie of success in your mind, you will attract success. This process would build up your self-confidence.
3. Write down a list of your achievements and success
Take another step toward building your self-confidence and write down a list of your achievements and success, and at look at this list often.
You might say that you have never experienced success. You are wrong about that. You might have not experienced great success, but you surely had, even if only occasionally, experienced some kind of success. Even baking a good cake, being in good relations with your spouse or children, or going for a walk almost every day is success.
4. Think of your talents and abilities
Set a time each day to think about your talents and abilities, and find ways to develop and use them. Do not say that you have no talents and skills. Everyone has some. You just need to find them.
5. Strengthen your willpower
Lack of self-confidence goes hand in hand with lack of willpower. If you strengthen your willpower, your self-confidence would grow strong too. I have written a lot about willpower in many articles, and suggested exercises to strengthen it. I have also written a book about this topic, so there is no need to go deeper into it here.
Stronger willpower means more assertiveness, more self-esteem and more confidence.
6. Set small, simple goals
Set small, simple goals that are within you reach and go achieve them. This will greatly boost your confidence. I am talking about really small goals, such as cleaning and arranging your wardrobe, inviting friends to your house, starting to learn swimming, or taking a day off and having fun.
These small acts will make you feel better about yourself and increase your self-confidence.
7. Develop a positive attitude
Instead of focusing on negative events and expecting the worse, make the effort to focus on the positive and expect positive results. This might not be easy if your mindset has always been negative. However, with persistence, you can change your mental habits and build a positive attitude. You will find plenty of information about positive thinking at this website.
It would help, if you strive to remove from your mind and from your vocabulary all negative words and refrain from using them in your conversation.
8. Give yourself motivational talks
Remove any negative commentary running in your mind. Be firm, and do not allow negative comments about you and about your life to run in your mind. You need to be more aware of what is going on in your mind and not allow negative comments and negative inner conversations to go on.